When the Cat in the Hat Took Over Debuh1
by Kouhai-sempai
Summary: Omg, it's the cat in the hat, and he's got a bat! Everybody run! Wait, is that...Orochimaru? Pure crack-filled goodness involving cats, hats, snakes, Death Notes--you name it. Special appearances by Death Note characters!


_Well, hello there! Okay, this fic is gonna be one wild, random ride. There's gonna be a plot, I swear (aka I hope). I took some, uh, artistic liberties with Orochi's powers. There IS a reason, so please bear with me here. This first part is just a prologue and introduction to his situation. Believe it or not, this all started with a conversation involving Shakespeare and L. Don't ask how the hell it turned out as this. Okay, enough of my talk. Please read, enjoy, and review!_

_**Dedications: **__This is another idea that came from Yahweh. I think he's starting to become my official muse. ^_^ Also, I want to give another shout out to __**lunabasketcase**__. More specifically, I want to give a shout out to her and her friend's YouTube videos under the channel __**Debuh1**__. Their videos generally involve both Death Note and Naruto characters, both of which I will be sure to include in this story ('cuz that's where the idea started, lol). Please check them out and offer plenty of cookies to my dedicatees!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I wouldn't want to own Orochimaru even if I was allowed to. Well, unless it was to do stuff like this to him. -evil grin-_

* * *

"_Where am I?"_

Orochimaru carefully opened his eyes and looked around him. He was in a thick forest, and he seemed to be lying down.

"_Fuck, my head hurts like a bitch!"_

He reached up to rub his temples, but something was very wrong. His skin seemed much too soft, and he was fairly certain that he was lacking opposable thumbs. He sat up and started to bring his hands in front of his face to inspect them—only to stop when he realized that sitting brought his eyesight no more than a foot off the ground, not to mention that he felt that he was sitting on his hindquarters rather than sitting cross-legged as he had intended. He slowly gazed down in horror at his body. Every last inch of it was covered in black or white fur, and his hands and feet were now fluffy, white paws.

"_Damn, Itachi, forcing me to jump into a damn cat at the last second!"_

He growled, but the grumbling cat noise he made wasn't anywhere near as threatening as he would have liked. He sighed quietly, only to have it come out as a quiet meow.

"_At least my eyesight and sense of smell are better."_

Sure enough, he could look around and see every insignificant leaf that was in his field of vision. He sniffed the air and caught scent of smells that he could never have dreamed of smelling before. It almost made him want to be a better person. Almost. Not really. Okay, that's complete bullshit made up by the narrator. Hey, it's tough being the narrator, okay! Ahem. On with the story.

He shakily stood up on all fours, not quite used to his new muscles. Suddenly, he heard a loud, echoing crack above him. He looked up and saw an enormous tree limb heading right for him. He closed his eyes, knowing that he couldn't avoid it without knowing his new body better. He heard the expected crash of wood and leaves against packed earth, and he waited for the excruciating pain to come with it, but nothing happened. He opened his eyes, expecting to be flat on the ground again, but he seemed to be at the same level he'd been at before closing his eyes. He briefly scanned the area for the branch, finding it not two inches from his tail.

"_Could that branch possibly have missed me?"_

Satisfied and somewhat mystified by his luck, he continued to test his body, keeping his ears up and alert for more falling branches. Eventually, he came to a long, deserted dock stretching out into a mirror-smooth lake. He padded along to the end of the dock and looked down into the water, highly doubting that he could gather the chakra to walk out onto it. Angered and frustrated by that fact, he almost walked away when he felt the familiar yet unexpected feeling of chakra building up in his feet.

He looked down at his paws, almost in awe, and boldly stepped onto the water –only to feel himself starting to sink. He doubted he had enough control over his new body to swim, yet, and he knew that he didn't have enough control over either his body or his chakra to leap back on the dock. Even so, he felt his hind legs fold and his muscles coil, and then, quick as a flash, he was back on the dock, safe from the water.

"_I know I didn't do that on my own."_

He puzzled over the strange event until, suddenly, understanding dawned on him. A toothy, terrifying, feline grin that would have put the Cheshire cat to shame spread across his face.

"_Hmm…this body must have retained the cat's instincts, and it seems that I can still use my chakra, though I'll have to learn to control it as I must this body."_

With this newfound knowledge, he immediately began training.

* * *

_Aly: Okay, I am going to have WAY too much fun with this._

_Naruto: I think you freaked Sasuke out again._

_Aly: Why's that?_

_Naruto: -points- He's over in the corner looking at a bunch of papers with creepy, wide eyes._

_Aly: Hmm? Oh, no. He's just looking at—uh…let's just say I gave him some alternative reading material._

_Naruto: Like what?_

_Aly: Oh, nothing. You wouldn't be interested._

_Naruto: Tell me._

_Aly: No._

_Naruto: -pokes Aly- Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me…_

_Aly: Alright already! It's just a bunch of lemons I found involving you and chocolate sauce._

_Naruto: O.O_

_Sasuke: Dammit, Aly!_

_Aly: It's not my fault! He poked me! -turns to readers- Hehe, looks like I made him mad again. Please review while I try not to get killed. -prances out of room-_


End file.
